Chapter 1 Part 1





Whoa! Red porch and green tiles, whoa! With lakes of wine and forests of meat, whose house is this @#$%! awesome to fill the courtyard with hanging decorations of salted fish and salted meat?! The whole house is this good at being so tasteless, red and green mixed into a lump.

Lin Wuniao looked up, stupefied.

“My darling…” With the mournful cry of 'my darling…,' a plump matron rolled out from the end of the corner of the courtyard. The powder on her face was as thick as a city wall and fat encircled her waist. Every step of her foot treading on the ground jiggled waves of her body’s meat layer after layer, and a glorious red pomegranate flower was inserted at her temples.

It truly was beautiful to the point of no comparison.

“My darling, you’re awake!” She took a breath, about to pounce over.

“Ay, are you calling me?” Lin Wuniao’s mind was still in a state of confusion.

“Wuniao, what foolishness are you talking about? Was your brain muddled by sleep?” The fat matron twisted her handkerchief, twisting it as she pouted coquettishly.

A thick layer of cold sweat instantly seeped out from Lin Wuniao’s forehead. @#$%! This time she clearly saw that the fat matron was unexpectedly even wearing a very flowery changpao from head to toe. Her articulation truly had more than enough ancient charm.

“Wuniao, you are not running away any more?” she asked.

“Huh…?”

“Look, you even prepared the ingredients.” She was surprised, pointing to the environmentally friendly bag in Lin Wuniao’s hand.

“Huh…?”

“My good daughter, you are finally willing to make your mother proud, and participate in the Lin family’s cooking competition.” She wailed and bawled.

“Hah……”

Who can tell her, what exactly is this chaotic situation?

Of course she knows who she is.

The Lin family has two treasures: Lin Youniao and Lin Wuniao.

This kind of name was bestowed by Papa Lin. It is said that when there were birds in the forest, he was in the act of cooking a dish of Bai Niao Chao Feng* when the cooking oil shined, and the beautiful recipe then won the most illustrious chef award in one move.

T/N: (hundred birds looking up to the phoenix or peace under a wise ruler)

Regarding a chef who is famous for his name that came from birds, there is nothing that comforts him more than ingredients.

So, in order to commemorate this grand moment, he cautiously named his firstborn son Lin Youniao, "Lin has birds."

When Lin Wuniao was born, by coincidence there was an epidemic of avian flu, in order to buy a young male chick for raw materials, Father Lin walked an entire day’s distance, looked everywhere in vain, under a furious rage, named his second daughter Lin Wu Niao.

Wuniao, "no birds," really is an inauspicious name.

This ominous name, followed her as she matured into adulthood.

And furthermore, her life has been ill-omened ever since then.

“Oh my god, I've time-traveled.” She was slow to respond; after two hours, she finally managed to react.

“My darling, putting on clothes? No, no, no, you look good in everything! Look at this greenness, this thickness, it should again be some place’s rare goods." The fat matron looked at her and was simply exceedingly satisfied. She pulled at the military coat that Lin Wu Niao wore, and praised her while clicking her tongue.

“…” In reality, she came from the supermarket, just got back home and opened the pressure cooker, preparing to cook some instant noodles in boiling water. She didn’t even have time to put down the Kang X instant noodles and Maybelline lipstick she was carrying in her hands. She had planned to take a nap after cooking the noodles, put on her military coat, and continue her arcade game, but the pressure cooker exploded and she mysteriously traveled through time.

These contraband items could truly cause a person’s death!

“!@#$%, I’ve time traveled, I’ve time traveled!” 10000% horrified, she ran around the house waving her hands over her head.

Slap! With her fat palm, her mother slammed into her with a smack, and successfully calmed her surging emotions, “Daughter, you have to stay composed, don’t get yourself worked up. If you can’t get into the top three, you won’t be able become the Emperor’s personal chef.

“The Emperor’s personal chef?!” She was deeply horrified.

Meanwhile, seaweed tears started flowing from her heart. What are you joking about? The ones who know how to cook are Father Lin and Sir Lin You Niao. She, Wu Niao, only knows how to boil a pack of instant noodles. How can the heavens look askance like this, and specialize in striking the newbie?

This is unfair, this is definitely unfair.

"Did you forget? The Lin Family’s tournament for the Emperor’s personal chef is tomorrow, the announcer is the royal kitchen’s top chef, and it will definitely be fair and just. My little bird, mommy is counting on you."

“I’ll do my best then.” She looked sorrowfully at the fat matron, her emotions surging like a wave. It was the first time she had an intense urge to run into a wall.

This was the Golden Jade Imperial Dynasty; Lin Family was the first family of the Imperial Kitchen, and inside this old emperor’s kitchen, there are ten kitchens. Of these, nine were sponsored by the Lin Family.

The so-called imperial kitchen was actually the Lin Family’s kitchen…

Therefore, because they were entrusted with this kind of heavy responsibility, the Lin family was even more cautious and conscientious.

The children of the Lin family must all participate in the Lin Family’s competition for the emperor’s kitchen when they reach their fifteenth birthday. They only have the chance to join the imperial kitchen’s selection if they can get into the top three.

Lin Wuniao was coincidentally one of the many candidates for the selection this year.

Speaking of Lin Wuniao, just comparing makes people sigh. The Lin Family head’s twentieth concubine, Tang Xin, gave birth to this youngest daughter, who they say has already been able to cook dishes proficiently from a young age.

Because the twentieth concubine is not favored, she (Lin Wuniao) crazily studied cooking skills everyday, so that one day she would be able to join the King of Chefs Tournament; to raise her head and shoulders above others, she strove for the sake of her mother's status.

“What am I best at cooking?” Lin Wuniao pulled a long face, pointing at herself. Looking with a burning gaze towards the twentieth concubine, she brought all her hopes and entrusted them onto the body of this youngest daughter.

“Niao-er, aren’t you good at everything? You usually only have to take one look at a dish to be able to make it.”

There's no need to say anything anymore. This person was a genius; Lin Wuniao was deeply defeated.

“Niao-er, mother is counting on you." She continued to twist her handkerchief weakly. Underneath her giant palm, the pink little handkerchief was rubbed into bits of powder, each piece fluttering.

“I will work hard then…” Lin Wuniao’s mouth grimaced.

“Wuniao, mother is very grateful.” She pulled Lin Wuniao into her embrace and pressed her into her bosom, pounding her passionately on the back.

“Cough, cough, cough, you’ll kill me ….” Her chest was too magnificent, one really could die of suffocation.

“Niao-er, no need to be too worried, the subject of tomorrow’s contest, mother has already gotten hold of in her hand.” She suddenly pushed Lin Wu Niao away. Narrowing her eyes, her expression was incomparably sharp.

“Huh?”

"The subject of tomorrow’s contest is….” She bit her lip, looked up forty-five degrees, and, with an incomparably mysterious and bewitching expression, came closer and closer to Lin Wu Niao, her gaze intense.

The competition’s topic was…a handmade, dyed gen tang.